is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
