There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
