before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
