Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
