captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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