i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
