She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
