ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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