Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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