I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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