Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
