He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
