Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
