Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
