Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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