Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry julied hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(408): View more from California

she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again

Fav 41 876 6075
share tweet
(317): View more from Indiana

she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.

Fav 16 1564 6136
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(785): View more from Kansas

I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.

Fav 38 13585 1851
share tweet
(973): View more from New Jersey

remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?

(973): View more from New Jersey

it happened again.

Fav 8 6465 1223
share tweet
(786): View more from Florida

I miss vodka workout Fridays

Fav 5 3181 1255
share tweet
(573): View more from Missouri

Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.

Fav 12 1882 992
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.

Fav 10 911 1480
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.

(1-317): View more from Indiana

You really know how to show Monday who's boss.

Fav 0 845 416
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be

Fav 0 567 219
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT