Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
