Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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