Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize