the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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