is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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