I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
