Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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