I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
