Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I love you. Go after that dick
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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