Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My ass is underappreciated
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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