I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
