he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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