Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
