My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
So apparently I’m into choking now
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