I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
