That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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