First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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