I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize