wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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