Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I touched a dick in church today
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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