i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
