She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
