This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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