And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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