I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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