So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you had me at cake vodka
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
