he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
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You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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