I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
