Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
