If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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