hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
