fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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