Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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