I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
