Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
