who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
