If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
