This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Hippo gnu deer
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
