Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
