I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
