Ambien. No doubt about it.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
