I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
