i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
