yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
